Morgan’s Pier

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September is a glorious month in Philadelphia. The deep blue cloudless sky and cool mornings are a welcome change from the dog days of summer. On a cool late summer day last week, I decided it was time to visit Morgan’s Pier on North Columbus Boulevard, which will remain open until Sept. 28. Dining outside on brutally hot summer days is not my glass of iced tea.

The circular bar is covered so if a rain shower approaches, guests will remain dry. There were two televisions tuned to ESPN for those who are counting down the days to the start of the NFL season. There were tables and benches outside of the bar area, as well.

I am usually weary of restaurant websites that list the beers I sipped available before the food. This practice makes me think that the dishes take a back seat to the libations.

I sipped an Allagash White ($7) from the tap and looked over the menu. Edward opted for a martini ($6.50) that looked strange in its small plastic cup.

Groucho Marx would describe the menu as mish-mash. There is no focus and no rhyme or reason that certain dishes are sharing space at Morgan’s Pier.

The fried cauliflower ($6) was bland and greasy. Some fried breadcrumbs dusted the top of each piece, but it certainly was not deep-fried. I longed for a tempura batter that would have hit the mark. A strange dish was elote corn, ($6.50) which the bartender said was a dip. Well, it wasn’t really. It was a mound of cold yellow corn kernels mixed with a bit of cream cheese and topped with breadcrumbs served with tortilla chips. I found it dry and crumbly. Each time I tried to spread it on a chip, it fell off.

Pennsylvania beefsteak and heirloom tomatoes have had a winning season this summer. I eat one every day. Since the first two appetizers were not pleasing, I was happy to see heirloom tomato salad ($9) on the menu. My pleasure quickly turned to despair as soon as I took a look at the mushy tomato wedges slopped into a deep clear plastic bowl of slightly sweet sauce that lurked at the bottom. They lacked herbs and seasoning of any kind, especially salt. Not even a bit of sodium helped this poor excuse for a tomato salad. If they were heirloom tomatoes, I’m the Queen of Sheba. The dish was inedible.

The chicken wings ($11.50) fared a tiny bit better. I was shocked at the price. The Morgan’s Pier wings were the smallest ones I have ever seen in a restaurant. They had little meat on the bones, but they were tasty packed with some hot sauce. Blue cheese and two flimsy pieces of celery came with the order.

If dinner began with a disappointing start, the meal only got worse. A crispy chicken sandwich ($10) consisted of a dry, tasteless, boneless piece of chicken breast that was coated in crumbs and fried. It was served on what was described as a biscuit, but if this rock hard whatever was ever given to a Southerner, the person who baked it would have been run out of town. There was some kind of cloyingly sweet sauce spread on the chicken that did nothing to enhance it. A mound of the worst potato salad I have ever tasted came with the sandwich. The potatoes were overcooked and lacked any flavor at all.

Now to the travesty of the night. I love burgers. I am on a hunt for the best ones in town. Last week, I told readers about some of the great burgers I have enjoyed, particularly the ones served up at Devil’s Den and Kennett. I want my burger cooked medium-rare. “We cannot do a burger medium-rare,” one of the bartenders advised.

As soon as I looked at what they call a cheeseburger, I knew why.

The patty, probably frozen, was about one-thirty-seventh of an inch thick. It was dark brown gray inside and overly salty. Topped with American cheese, red onions, a slice of tomato and some Bibb lettuce, the creation leads me to say I have had better burgers at McDonald’s. The fries were OK, but I longed for a juicy burger. Edward sampled a Yard’s Brawler on draft ($6). This was the worst meal I have had all year.

""One-half tip of the toque to Morgan’s Pier. ■

Morgan’s Pier

221 N. Columbus Blvd.

215-279-7134

morganspier.com

170228711
170228611