Best Married Dating Sites for Discreet Dating Outside of Marriage

married dating sites

It’s okay, don’t feel guilty about it – marriage and relationship life can get boring. Things happen, we get busy, and we feel the need to explore outside what we’re used to.

With the best married dating sites, you can try out discreet dating.

But what are the top affair dating sites today?

Well, we laid them all out for you.

Let’s get rolling!

Best Dating Sites for Married People

Check out these married dating sites’ reviews below:

Best overall discreet cheating siteAshley Madison
Good for those in their 30sVictoria Milan
Find a steamy and discreet dateHeated Affairs
Great sex dating site for married peopleAdultFriendFinder
Where the wealthy meet and cheatSeeking
Find a discreet flingNoStringsAttached
Good dating site for speedy affair datingPure
Deeper connections than mostReddit r4r
Good for international secret datingZoosk
Great for married womenBumble

Top Married Dating Sites

1. Ashley Madison – Best Overall Discreet Married Dating site

Ashley Madison


  • Privacy-focused platform
  • Extensive user base
  • Profile pictures can be kept private
  • Unique travel tool
  • Profile priority feature


  • Requires a paid membership for full functionality

Ashley Madison is the holy grail website for married and attached people looking for discreet extramarital affairs.

The platform has an incredible 60M+ members worldwide, so you can choose to date either locally or internationally without any problem.

For international dating, Ashley Madison offers you a Traveling Man tool. With it, you can begin browsing other members in different regions even before your trip. Talk about getting ahead of time, eh?

You can also choose to boost your profile through the Priority Man tool and put yourself in the faces of more matches. Who doesn’t like some attention anyway?

To see that you’re safe and have peace of mind, Ashley Madison is completely anonymous and private, which is a great sauce for illicit encounters.

You can sign up for free and explore women looking for an affair online. The free dating trial lasts for 30 days, which is a long enough time to get a good feel of the dating site.

The only issue is that you’ll need a premium account to fully use the platform.

If you upgrade your subscription after the features for free, you will still be able to communicate with the users you were previously in contact with. So, no possible regrets here.

You can upgrade your free account by purchasing credits using a number of different payment methods provided by the dating site.

The premium account opens you up to the following exclusive features:

  • Priority Messaging: allows you to send messages to other users without having to wait for your approval.
  • Traveling Man: lets you connect with other users in different cities before you arrive.
  • Discreet Photo Tools: allows you to make your profile anonymous by blurring or masking your photos.

>>Have your dream discreet affair today

2. Victoria Milan – Another Option for Discreet Affair Dating

Victoria Milan


  • Discreet and anonymous dating
  • Strong emphasis on security and privacy
  • Extensive user base
  • Boost profile for more matches


  • Can’t do much with the free membership

Victoria Milan gives married people and swingers a chance to spice up their dating life with someone else.

Like the best dating sites for married people, Victoria Milan highly emphasizes security and anonymity, providing you with a safe environment for extramarital dating.

However, most anonymity features require a paid membership for full access.

Like Ashley Madison, the site guarantees you anonymity and privacy, making sure that no lurking scammer pounces on your information.

On anonymity, you can check out profiles in private mode, which is more like browsing on incognito.

You can also create private photos and album keys, giving access to those you wish to give only.

Most Ashley Madison members are aged 35 and below, so it might not be the most natural option for older people.

To increase your odds of cheating discreetly, you can use the RankBOOSTER tool to make your profile more visible and increase your chances of getting a partner through this feature.

>>Find other attached people 35 and below

3. Heated Affairs – Hot and Steamy Affair Dating Platform

Heated Affairs Desktop


  • Large user base
  • Advanced search filters
  • Option to keep profile discreet
  • Plenty of communication features


  • Premium membership needed for full access

Heated Affairs wants to ignite the spark for married individuals – particularly, ones seeking extramarital adventures. It does so successfully, thanks to a community of members all looking for the same thing.

Thanks to HA’s advanced search filters, you can precisely tailor your search for the perfect affair partner based on criteria like location, interests, and physical attributes.

Much like AshleyMadison and VictoriaMilan, privacy is a priority on Heated Affairs. Users have the option to keep their profile discreet, so you can engage in affairs without fear of exposure.

The platform provides a range of communication features, from private messaging to video chats, ensuring you can connect with potential partners in any way you want to.

While basic features are free, a premium membership unlocks the full potential of the site. This will allow you to explore all the feats to connect with other members within your selected area.

What do you say, are you ready to heat up your love life?

>>Ignite your affair journey now

4. AdultFriendFinder – Casual and Open-Minded Marriage Dating Site



  • Over 93 million members
  • Variety of relationship types
  • Webcam and chat features
  • Free-spirited users


  • Could modernize site a little

AdultFriendFinder is one of the best free dating sites designed for open-minded individuals seeking casual encounters, friends with benefits, and more. It’s also one of the best cam sites.

The app offers you a range of communication and interaction features for dating.

You can send live messages, emails, and even online gifts to express interest differently.

Best of all, AFF offers video dating for you to intimately engage with another attached member before meeting in person.

Since AdultFriendFinder has been built on erotic pleasures, members can create live cam streams and get saucy with it.

While AFF has existed since 1996 (which makes it super reputable), the site didn’t do much keeping with the times. However, it’s easy to navigate and gives a nostalgic feeling of classic adult sites.

It’s also good to know that the discreet affair dating app gives you the ability to blur nude and explicit content if you’re not too comfortable.

The users are free and wild-spirited, so you don’t have to bite your tongue before saying what you want.

>>Get your ideal sex date now

5. Seeking – Wealthy People Looking for Discreet Connections

Seeking Mobile Banner


  • Highly affluent user base
  • Advanced search options
  • Mobile app for on-the-go affairs
  • Strict verification process


  • Limited free membership

Seeking caters to wealthy individuals seeking extramarital affairs. What did you expect? We know what we’re talking about here – ask my mistresses, they too, know.

With advanced search options, you can narrow down your search for the perfect affair partner based on specific criteria. To ensure compatibility and chemistry, these filters are a gold mine, since time is money and you don’t wanna be scrolling infinitely.

The platform offers a mobile app, allowing you to discreetly manage your affairs while on-the-go. Plus, your wife might snoop around on your laptop, so I highly recommend sticking to the app only.

Seeking’s strict verification process ensures the authenticity of all its users. While basic features are available for free, a Premium Membership will grant you access to additional perks and features.

If you want complete access to all features instantly, go for Diamond Membership. Your next discreet date is just a few clicks away.

>>Find yourself a wealthy date now

6. NoStringsAttached – Discreet Affair Dating Site

NSA Mobile Banner


  • Focus on casual encounters
  • Anonymous browsing and communication
  • Advanced options for matchmaking
  • Fairly priced membership


  • Limited free features

What’s in a name, right? NoStringsAttached is another great platform for those seeking casual affairs, without the hassle of emotional entanglements.

The platform prioritizes anonymity, offering anonymous browsing and communication features to ensure your affairs remain discreet, just the way you want them to be. By the way, tell your wife I said hello. Or maybe not.

Anyway, back to it. NSA’s advanced search options allow you to refine your quest for the perfect date, based on specific preferences and interests. Don’t waste your time and make use of them.

VIP membership options are available and range from $12.50 monthly for a yearly subscription up to $29.95 for just a month. It’s worth signing up to get full messaging access, even to members who did not pay for a membership.

If that’s not enough, you can buy extra tokens, which even allow you to buy into private cam shows. That’s just about as discreet as it gets, I’d say.

Can’t wait till your next fling? Sign up today and go for it.

>>Start your no-strings-attached affair journey now

7. Pure – Quick and Anonymous Hookups



  • Focus on quick replies
  • Geolocation-based matching
  • Minimalist, straightforward interface
  • Free for ladies


  • Profiles self-destruct

Pure is an app that caters to married and engaged individuals looking for instant sexy adventures, no-strings-attached, casual encounters.


Pure’s profiles have a time limit, typically 60 minutes, which adds a sense of urgency and encourages you to take immediate action, making it ideal for those seeking instant connections.

When the time elapses, the profile destructs. While it can be too much for some people, the app does a good job in keeping its members engaged and reducing the risk of someone getting scammed.

Although most dating apps are in a rat race to have the most features, we like that Pure’s mobile app and user interface is minimalistic and straightforward, creating a user-friendly experience for all.

Not to mention, Pure’s geolocation-based matching allows you to connect with people in your immediate vicinity, making it highly likely for you to get real-life action.

Unlike other married dating sites that rely on complex matching algorithms, Pure encourages you to connect based on immediate interest, which is simpler.

The icing on the cake is that Pure is among the many free dating sites for women, which helps balance the gender ratio on the platform.

>>Join this free for women married dating service

8. Reddit R4R – Top Free Dating Site

Reddit r4r


  • Completely free
  • Diverse user base and interests
  • Not too superficial
  • No need to create a new account (if you’re a Reddit user)


  • Not a dedicated dating platform

Reddit isn’t just a platform where you go and drop opinions on controversial stuff.

Reddit r4r is a Subreddit where you can post personal ads seeking various types of connections, from friendships to romantic relationships.

Because often there are no pictures involved, Reddit can be a good option for discreet affairs.

While it’s free to use, Reddit lacks the features and structure of dedicated dating apps, but users do consider it one of the best chat sites.

The R4R subreddit is open to anyone, and you can post your ad by specifying your location and the type of relationship you are looking for to find a harmonious match.

Additionally, you can participate in any of the available categories, such as activity partners, groups, dating, hanging out, soulmates, and FWBs to find people of your tribe.

>>Join over 600,000 of people seeking secret dating

9. Zoosk – Tinder-like Discreet Dating Site



  • Large user base
  • Behavioral matchmaking system
  • Variety of communication tools 
  • Great for international dating


Hit-and-miss matches at first (improves with time)

Zoosk is like Tinder’s cousin.

The app is a mainstream dating app with a large user base from across the world.

In fact Zoosk supports about 25 languages and is accessible in more than 80 countries, making it one of the most penetrating dating sites for married people.

To match you with someone else, Zoosk uses a behavioral matchmaker that looks into your like patterns and suggests potential compatible members.

However, the matchmaker may not be widely accurate at first, but it improves pretty fast and starts suggesting the most harmonious matches for you.

On the good, Zoosk also has a top-rated mobile app, which should give you an easy time using the app on the go.

>>Find discreet cheating from across the world

10. Bumble – Married Dating Site for Women



  • Women initiate conversations
  • Inclusive for all genders and orientations
  • Friend-finding and networking modes
  • Free for women


  • Limited time for starting conversations

Bumble offers a women-first approach, where women initiate conversations within 24 hours of matching.

This means that members generally get high reply rates on this site.

The app also offers friend-finding and networking modes, just in case you’re looking for something different.

Because of its unique matching option, Bumble is also good for married men as you’d know that someone truly likes you when they message you.

With Bumble Premium, you can access unlimited swaps, backtracking on a missed match, advanced search, and the ability to change your location.

The Beeline access allows you to see users who have swiped right on you even if you have not swiped them yet.

>>Join a female-centered affair dating app

What To Look For on Dating Sites for Married People

Like other online dating site users, if you are married and want to explore or use married dating sites, you must be cautious and responsible. Here are the things to consider when looking for the best affair dating sites:

Privacy and Security

The best dating site prioritizes user privacy and security.

Look for features such as discreet billing, personal details protection, and anonymous profiles.

Choose dating sites for married people that use encryption to protect your data.

Discreet Profiles

Some online dating sites are specifically designed for people seeking affair dating or discreet relationships. These dating websites often have features that allow you to keep your identity and personal details confidential.

Membership Verification

Online dating sites can expose you to scammers and fake profiles, which may put your security at risk.

Choose the best dating apps that verify the identity of their members, which can reduce the chances of encountering fake profiles.

Communication Controls

Select a site that allows you to control who can message you and how you receive messages.

Some dating sites offer features like message filters and features such as locking your messages to help you manage your interactions.

User Base

Consider the user base of the dating site. Are there like-minded individuals looking for discreet relationships?

Dating sites with fewer restrictions have a wide user base, increasing the chances of getting like-minded people. However, if you already know what you are looking for, you can opt for platforms with streamlined membership, such as Seeking.

Be aware of the demographics and the size of the user base.

Safety Measures

Online dating services should not expose your personal information to any third parties. Look for married dating sites that have safety features such as reporting tools, to address any issues that may arise.

Cost and Payment Methods

Most affair dating sites offer both basic and premium packages. However, the features for free  are mostly inefficient since there are various limitations, including the number of people you can message, photo privacy, and profile visibility.

Premium packages offer the best services by the dating site. However, the prices vary from one platform to the other.

Before signing up on any site, consider the cost of using the site and make sure it aligns with your budget.

Customer Support

Customer service helps you solve any problem you encounter on the dating platform, including billing, account activation or deactivation, etc.

To ensure a smooth operation on any dating site, check the availability and responsiveness of customer support and ensure there is a way to contact the site for assistance if needed.

Staying Safe on Married Dating Services

Dating apps for married people are getting safer by the day, with improved security systems and stronger verification processes being employed.

Still, you have to be more careful when talking to people online. Here are a few pointers you can follow:

Take it Slow

Don’t rush. Take your time to get to know someone, or at least get a good knowledge of them, if you want something faster and casual.

On the same, be wary of anyone claiming to love you so soon after you start talking. Some scammers may use ‘love bombing’ to get your trust before fleecing you out.

Schedule a Video Call

Yeah, video calls aren’t just for cutting distances. To be certain that you’re talking to a real person, ask them to join you on a video call.

If they’re hesitant or keep bulking, you might need to rethink.

Do Not Give Out Personal Information

Never give anyone your personal or financial information online.

While you may tell someone your name, avoid giving people too much information, especially when they keep pressing about ‘knowing more about you.’

Scammers and identity thieves might pose as genuine romantic interests only to use your information for fraudulent activities once they have enough.

Avoid People Asking for Money

While it may look genuine, a stranger asking you for money online might be a red flag – especially if you’ve started talking.

There are a few people online who live on creating ‘close relationships’ and then borrowing money for a supposed ‘emergency’ and ghosting once they receive the funds.

Check Out Guides on Cheating Dating Sites

Most dating platforms have guides on dating online.

This can help you find a way to maneuver online dating if you’ve never tried it before or if you’ve been out of the game for a while.

Meet In a Public Place

Okay, you’ve hit it off, and it’s now time to meet?

A safe place to meet someone you’ve been talking to online is a public place.

This can be a mall, a public park, a restaurant, and any neutral location. You might also want to tell a friend or a family member where you will be just in case they need to find you.

Also, before you meet someone for a first date, be keen to have your own transport back to make it easier to get home after the date.

Best Married Dating Sites – FAQs

Can I Use Affair Dating Apps For LGBTQ+ Connections?

Yes, you can use these apps for LGBTQ+ connections.

There are apps like Grindr that cater primarily to the LGBTQ+ community. Grindr provides geolocation-based matching and various types of connections within the LGBTQ+ community, helping you connect with like-minded partners.

Are Married Dating Sites Safe To Use?

Yeah, most married dating sites are safe to use.

Many reputable married dating apps like Ashley Madison and Victoria Milan prioritize user privacy and security. Affair dating apps also use encryption to protect your data, offer discreet billing, and provide features to keep your identity and personal details confidential.

What Types Of Relationships Can I Find On Married Dating Sites?

The types of relationships you find on married dating apps vary depending on the specific app you choose.

Some people are looking for discreet affairs or short-term romances on casual hookup sites, while others may seek more long-term connections.

What Can I Find On Online Dating Sites For Affairs?

You can explore a lot of connections on online dating sites for affairs.

Some, such as Seeking, cater to the more well-off, and others, such as Adult Friend Finder, cater to open-minded individuals looking for many forms of relationships.

How Can I Ensure A Successful Experience On Affair Dating Websites?

To ensure a successful experience, choose a reputable app, communicate your intentions clearly, prioritize safety and discretion, and be respectful to those you interact with on the platform.

Wrapping Up: Best Dating Sites for Married People

Married affair dating sites are a good way to break the mold and go out of the usual.

All the apps we’ve reviewed have a nice balance of thrill and privacy to help you have affairs without worrying.

From Ashley Madison to Victoria Milan to AdultFriendFinder, these platforms will help you find a compatible person to have a discreet affair with.

It’s up to you to choose an app that speaks to your needs and wants.

So get out there and have a good time!