Shop talk

From the South Side of Chicago (where the movies Barbershop and Barbershop 2 take place) to South Philly, where barbershops are neighborhood institutions, an afternoon in the chair is more entertaining than an $8.50 movie any day.

Faheem’s Hands of Precision, 9 a.m.

Faheem Alexander, 26, opens the doors to his barbershop at 20th and Snyder.

Although he’s not as famous as movie barber Ice Cube, Alexander got his props in a Grammy-nominated album by The Roots, a Philly-based rap group.

"I’m precise with it like Faheem with haircuts" goes the line in Sacrifice, a tune off the album Phrenology.

The barber’s fine reputation helps keep the shop busy. As the appointments start rolling in, Alexander tries to fit in the walk-in clients as well.

The rest of the crew starts clocking in, and soon are watching SportsCenter highlights on ESPN.

The radio volume is cranked up when everyone gets tired of LeBron James coverage. The music is the catalyst for the "Great Barbershop Debate," a commentary better than Comedy Central, BET Comic View and MTV combined.

The classic R&B; Bobby Womack tune, If You Think You’re Lonely Now, is putting some of the barbers to sleep. Alexander seizes the opportunity to fire a verbal shot at fellow stylist Kevin Wise.

"Kev, who singing this song?"

Wise seems stumped by the question, and is soon blindsided with another blow from barber Trina Mitchell, who exclaims, "And don’t say Jodeci either!"

Alexander finally lets Wise off the hook and attempts to school him on the works of Bill Withers.

Mitchell jabs her boss: "Fa, all you know is Bill Withers, anything old school, you think it’s Bill Withers."

This brings a smile to an older customer’s face who knew the answer all along. He brags that he is getting a trim in preparation for the Stylistics show later that evening.

That’s the beauty of the barbershop. It brings together generations.

While the group was talking old school, a boy not yet ready for preschool was getting a haircut.

"He was calm, he took it like a soldier," Ayyub Samad boasted of his 2-year-old son, Mumu.

Samad said he started coming to the shop more than a year ago at the recommendation of some friends.

Hands of Precision is as important to the staff as its patrons, stresses Alexander, who describes the shop as a "place where you can be somebody."

Second-year barber Jay believes that it is a "wholesome and respectable" profession. "If you worked here, you don’t ever want to leave."

That’s understandable for the entertainment factor alone.

And only in the atmosphere of a barbershop could a fight between two mentally handicapped people be voted the funniest moment in the establishment’s history.

"The funniest part about the whole thing is that they both talk trash about people just like us," says Alexander. "Irv helps out around the shop and when Milan come around, there is always beef!"

In this equal-opportunity business, Mitchell is a real-life version of rapper Eve’s character in Barbershop (the real barber gives her movie counterpart a thumbs-up, by the way), and can cut up with the best of them.

Her coworkers refer to Mitchell as a "Mother Love" type, and have grown to respect her female insights.

When you ask the barber — who has been cutting hair since 1993 — why she went into the profession, she has a typically sharp response: "I like men."

Vincent and Santo Procopio, 4 p.m.

Walking into Vincent & Santo Procopio Barbershop at 12th and Oregon is like walking into Cheers — everybody knows your name.

Co-owner Vincent Procopio says, "Call a producer to put the shop on TV. We will beat Seinfeld!"

The establishment has maintained its loyal clientele for more than 35 years. It is a place where grandfathers bring their grandsons to sit in the same barber chairs that they did — and still do.

Art Calandre Sr., 75, accompanied by his 13-year-old grandson, Luka Cundo, acknowledges that the social atmosphere keeps him coming back.

"I went to Jersey to get a cut, now I’m back here once a month. I don’t have much hair left, but I do catch up on the news," Calandre says.

The topic of discussion for today is politics.

In the blue corner, sporting a Phillies 1980 World Series jacket, is ex-military officer Alex. And fighting out of the red corner, with a combined weight of 1,000-plus pounds, is … everyone else in the shop.

Much like Barbershop‘s character Eddie, played by Cedric the Entertainer, a man with an opinion all his own is a staple of every shop.

In this case, longtime customer Alex is appalled at the alleged conditions of the U.S. military’s Hummers. According to Alex, the country does not produce enough steel to properly armor the vehicles.

"It takes about a year to manufacture steel," says the outraged Alex.

A clever counter-punch was delivered by Joseph "Pops" Italiano of Pop’s Water Ice fame: "Sure we can produce enough steel, just go out to Essington and get the junk cars. That will be enough."

But the shop isn’t just politics. It’s also a place where youths waiting to get scalped can get sports advice.

Alex advises soccer player Cundo on workout techniques and developing his left foot.

"Use ankle weights on your weaker leg," says Alex. "They won’t know unless we tell them."

No matter what the cause, the barbershop offers support. The owners are always willing to put out a stack of fliers for an event or take up a collection for a local community group. The shop currently is promoting the Feb. 28 pro-boxing debut of Fighting Mummer Mike "Money" New at The Lagoon.

Even though regular fixture Bobby Mazzeo says he lives by the motto, "Working is like being in jail," he sure doesn’t mind being in the shop.

He would never want to be free of the place where he regales everyone with his anecdotes — all of which are too long to be printed here.

But if you ever meet him, ask him to tell you the "step story." He’ll be sure to oblige.