Score this one an error

If Mr. 3000 has any place in the history of cinema, it will be as the movie that made people forget about Gigli.

Bernie Mac plays Stan Ross, a baseball superstar who ensures his legacy by recording 3,000 hits. He retires immediately after reaching the milestone.

Abandoning the team in the middle of a pennant race doesn’t exactly endear Stan to the fans, but he is still able to make a living by milking his legacy.

When the team retires the player’s number, statisticians make an ominous discovery: Because of a recording error, Stan was credited with three more hits than he should have been. At age 47, he reenters baseball to win back his hits and status.

Mac is an enjoyable actor, but he is not enough to save this movie. In fact, he is somewhat miscast. In both Bad Santa and Ocean’s Eleven, Mac was a refreshing presence with his sardonic delivery and imposing physique. Here, he looks the part but otherwise he’s all wrong. On top of that, Mac looks pretty uncomfortable most of the time, as if he is saying to himself, "What did I get myself into?"

But let’s not put this all on the sizable shoulders of Mr. Mac. The fact is, the movie is just terrible, period. And not terrible in a campy Plan 9 from Outer Space kinda way. But terrible in the way that only mainstream movies can be. Everything that can go wrong goes wrong here. The editing is just sloppy and the actors look as if they’d rather be someplace else.

Chief among these is Angela Bassett. One of the best actresses of recent years, she looks uneasy most of the time. One can only hope she’s over at her agent’s office right now, giving him or her the slapping of a lifetime.

There is one redeeming feature, but it comes way too late in the movie. Without giving away the ending (not that anything could ruin this bomb), Stan decides his real contribution is not about his 3,000 hits, but teamwork. The ending actually is surprisingly touching, but the damage already has been done. In addition, Stan’s transformation is too abrupt to be believable.

Nobody else seems to want to be in this movie either. Paul Sorvino plays the manager, who is so mad at Stan for abandoning the team years ago, he doesn’t talk to him until the last game of the season. Then, when an ump fouls a call, he gets involved. It makes no sense to have a great actor like Sorvino in your movie but not let him talk until the very end.

This should have gone straight to video.

Mr. 3000
PG-13
Starting tomorrow in area theaters
One reel out of four

Recommended rental

Mean Girls
PG-13
Available Tuesday

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