Helping father know best

One day in the late 1990s, Everett Hurtt decided to attend a Focus on Fathers workshop at Hawthorne Cultural Arts Center to enhance his parenting skills. During the daylong event at 12th and Carpenter streets, the 39-year-old dad of three was very forthcoming and even provided helpful insight into others’ concerns.

The peer-parent coordinator was so impressed with Hurtt, he offered the dad his job when he resigned six years ago.

"I enjoy doing it and I’ve been here ever since. The most rewarding part is watching the men grow," says Hurtt, of the 1200 block of South 28th Street.

Focus on Fathers is a program exclusively for male caregivers. South Philly-based Resources for Children’s Health (RCH), a citywide nonprofit agency that promotes healthy pregnancies and positive parenting, operates the program with support from the United Way of Southeastern Pennsylvania, The Philadelphia Foundation and City of Philadelphia – Division of Community-Based Prevention Services. The program meets on different days and times at three South Philly locations: Hawthorne Cultural Arts Center, Dixon House, 1920 S. 20th St., and The Wedge medical building, Broad and McKean streets.

Hurtt, whose background is in retail and accounting, went through extensive training with RCH before signing on as peer-parent coordinator. Hurtt is also facilitator for Concerned Men of Point Breeze, a men’s support group that offers workshops on non-violence, parenting, relationships and community involvement. Hurtt conducts meetings and workshops as part of the group’s parenting collaborative.

FOCUS ON FATHERS teaches men how to be good dads by offering peer discussion groups, individual case management with RCH social workers and monthly recreational activities for fathers and children, as well as workshops and 12-week parenting classes. Programs are free.

"It’s to enhance the parenting skills of the men. Most men don’t know much about parenting. We educate them about parenting issues and concerns through support groups, workshops and things of that nature," explains Hurtt.

Unlike other programs aimed at fathers, this one concentrates solely on parenting. For example, if a man needs job-training skills, he will be referred to other resources, Hurtt says.

Focus on Fathers teaches anger management, conflict resolution and how to develop relationship skills with children and the children’s mother or mothers, Hurtt says.

His three kids – Erikah, 8; Sahbree, 14; and Everett Jr., 18 – have different mothers and Hurtt says the program made a huge difference in the way he interacts with all of them.

"It’s given me a better way of communicating and dealing with my children and their mothers. It has also given me a way of empowering my children," he says.

Hurtt previously tended to make all the decisions for his kids, but one of the things he learned was the need for youngsters to make some choices.

"It helped me understand the needs of children," he says.

Focus on Fathers also instills the importance of being an active presence in a child’s life. It’s especially important for girls to have a positive father figure so they don’t fall for every line when they start dating, Hurtt says.

"A lot of times young ladies miss the love of their father and those are the ones that older guys prey on," he adds.

MOST OF THE MEN who attend Focus on Fathers do not have custody of their children, but married dads, like 34-year-old Charles Powell, also benefit from the program.

Three months ago, Powell, from the 1400 block of Taylor Street, decided to attend Focus on Fathers at Hurtt’s suggestion. The peer-discussion group gives Powell a place to clear his mind.

"When you get there and talk to [other men] about it, you have a whole different outlook and it just makes you feel good. Going to that program is like a relief. There is a lot you can talk to them about. If you feel you are going in the wrong direction, they can lead you right," he says.

Powell and wife Regina, 34, have four kids: Nahquan, 10; Viyonna, 8; Raliyah, 6; and Charles Jr., 4.

Focus on Fathers has taught Powell how to better handle certain parenting situations. For example, if Powell bought his little ones something and his wife didn’t approve, she might say something, making him mad. Now, instead of getting into a tiff, the Powells talk it over, he says.

Chance Chandler, formerly of the 1200 block of Bainbridge Street, has been attending Focus on Fathers for the last three years. The 37-year-old Germantown resident has custody of two children – Asia, 12, and Albert, 9 – from a previous marriage.

Chandler says he didn’t realize how hard it would be to bring up two kids, but Focus on Fathers has helped him realize what it takes to be a good parent.

Like Powell, Chandler has found a valuable support network.

"Sometimes, just as a man, being able to talk about [what’s bothering you] and being around other men going through similar situations helps you a lot," he says. "There are a lot of men who could probably use the help who the program is not reaching. It would help if the word could get out."

For more information on Focus on Fathers, call 215-985-2089.

For more information on Concerned Men of Point Breeze, call 215-336-3511.