I can’t take it anymore. Curt Schilling pushed me over the top.
No, it wasn’t that he endorsed George W. Bush. He had as much right as the Dixie Chicks to publicly support his favorite candidate.
It’s the God thing.
After pitching gutty baseball with sutures in his ankle, Curt gave God credit for his masterful performance in the postseason. Maybe if he wins the Cy Young Award, Curt will donate it to his favorite church. Maybe we should make it the Yahweh Award.
Let’s look at this thing logically. If God, not Schilling, beat the Yankees, then that would make God a Yankee hater (and since the Yankees are the Evil Empire, I could live with that). But what happened the other 26 times the Yankees won the World Series? Is God a flip-flopper?
I am sick of guys pointing to the sky when they hit a homerun or score a touchdown. James Thrash is famous for pointing toward the heavens when he succeeds. The problem is James Thrash stinks, so it doesn’t happen very often. If God can’t help James Thrash, well, how powerful is He (or is it She)?
Hey, even I could get Curt Schilling to pitch great; the real challenge, if you want to be an all-powerful deity, is to make James Thrash a great player. On that score, God is not doing so well.
No one is as self-centered as a professional athlete. Here’s God, who is too busy to prevent 3,000 people from dying on 9/11, but who is concerned about whether Schilling earns his $2M bonus for the Red Sox winning the Series. Apparently God watches ESPN but not CNN. I am always reminded of the play Steam Heat, where God (a Puerto Rican locker room attendant), having nothing better to do, decides to give Debbie Reynolds a head cold.
However, in today’s world of the God-obsessed, God is only responsible for the good things that happen to you. Schilling never blamed God for hurting his ankle in the first place, nor would Thrash ever blame the deity when he so often fails to get open for a pass. Is there anyone with a better job description than God? "Responsible for only the good things that happen."
The self-absorbed professional athlete of today is blamed for many things except what may be his worst sin — trivializing God. We penalize football players for excessive celebrations on the playing field or taunting their opponents. How about penalizing them for mocking religion? Every time one of them taps his chest and points skyward, take away one of their Mercedes.
It’s much more offensive for pass receivers to point skyward than it is for Terrell Owens to go into one of his jackass routines for which he gets rightly penalized. When Bobby Abreu praises the Lord after he hits one out of the park, ask him whose fault it is that he can’t back up on routine fly balls.
Taking God out of the sports stadium would be a sign of respect. It would mean the realization that God is not your personal caddy. The saying that "God helps those who help themselves" should signal (and I hate to pick on him) James Thrash that maybe he ought to run better pass patterns rather than depend on divine intervention. Maybe Curt Schilling ought to realize that if he pitched like Brett Myers, even God couldn’t have helped him win the big game.
While we’re on the subject of religion, why is it that athletes and some other people have to shove their religion down your throat? If you became "born again" last year, more power to you, but I really think that’s between you and your God. How about we make a deal: I don’t tell you about my sex life and you don’t brag about your newfound religion?
Really. I don’t want to be unkind, but these people who brag about finding religion are about as boring as the people who quit smoking and can’t wait to convince you of their newfound moral superiority. When guys on the corner used to brag about all the sex they were getting, we knew they weren’t getting any. In the same way, if you find it necessary to brag about your spirituality, chances are you’re worried you might not make it into heaven.
It seems the separation of church and state got blurred in this past election campaign, but can we at least agree to separate the church and the playing field?
Oh, by the way, it’s basketball season again, so when a player makes the sign of the cross before he makes a foul shot, see how many times he makes it.
