Interpreting victims’ needs

The woman who came to see Sopheap Pin was distraught. She was a 29-year-old wife who was the victim of repeated sexual abuse by her husband. She had finally worked up the courage to leave him.

Her estranged husband then began spreading rumors about her, accusing her of having an affair. To her dismay, people tended to believe him. She felt isolated and discredited in her own close-knit community.

Pin knew this woman’s experience was not unusual among South Philadelphia’s Asian population. As the Asian outreach counselor for Women Organized Against Rape, Pin specializes in counseling Asian women who are victims of sexual abuse and domestic violence.

Besides working from her office at WOAR headquarters in Center City, Pin also does counseling and outreach at South Philly health centers at Broad and Morris and Eighth and Washington.

She says abuse is an uncomfortable reality in the Asian community.

"It’s much more prevalent than people realize," Pin says.

As an Asian woman, Pin can more easily gain the trust of the victims she counsels.

"It gives them a sense of comfort," she says. "They feel that I can relate to them emotionally and culturally."

The 24-year-old was born in a refugee camp in Thailand, where her Cambodian parents had sought safety during the brutal era of the Khmer Rouge. When she was 5, they immigrated to the United States, settling in South Philly.

Now Pin and her husband, also Cambodian, live in Pennsport. Although she’s lived here most of her life, her Asian identity is strong. Pin speaks fluent Khmer, the language of Cambodia, and she’s well connected in the Asian community, serving as a member of agencies such as the South Philadelphia Asian Outreach Consortium.

ONE CHALLENGE OF Pin’s work is that sexual abuse is seriously underreported in the Asian community. In fact, says Pin, it’s estimated that only 12 percent of cases are reported.

Some women don’t even realize they are victims of abuse.

"We’re expected to be passive and submissive," Pin explains. "A wife isn’t even supposed to look her husband in the eye because it’s a sign of disrespect."

Then, too, there’s the stigma attached to sexual abuse. "Shame and stigma are big issues in the Asian community," Pin says. "So most women won’t seek help until it gets to the point of actual violence."

Another issue for Asian women, especially those who are recent immigrants, involves their legal status. "They fear their visa will be taken away if they report their husband," says Pin. "Some even fear losing their children."

All these factors make it extremely difficult to encourage victims to come forward. To get the word out, Pin networks extensively with social workers, doctors, Asian community activists and also with pastors and monks of South Philly Asian congregations.

One current client is the wife who was the victim not only of sexual abuse but also of her husband’s rumors.

"Usually in the Asian community, the abuser tries to discredit the victim," Pin says. "This husband used family and friends to get back at her. And people believed him because men are considered the responsible members of the community."

In counseling sessions, Pin has helped the woman deal with her sense of guilt over leaving her husband.

"The survivor often goes through a stage of blame," she explains. "She blamed herself for breaking up the family."

Another client is a 12-year-old girl whose father sexually abused her.

"She was still in shock, even though this was two years later," says Pin. "But it’s never too late to talk about it."

Although this is the youngest victim she’s counseled, Pin notes that sexual abuse of children — just like that of women — is a frequent and underreported problem in the Asian community.

But when the issue is confronted, counseling can have very positive effects.

The 12-year-old, for example, "has made remarkable progress," Pin says. "Her grades are much better and she has much higher self-esteem."

IT’S EASY TO understand that Pin’s calm, low-keyed style would be a reassuring presence for victimized women. She’s also well trained for her work. Pin received a degree from Temple University in public health, first completing two internships.

Her priority was women’s issues, so she completed her first internship at the Linda Creed Breast Cancer Foundation, participating in health education and counseling.

When an opportunity arose for a second internship at WOAR, Pin eagerly accepted. Soon after, she was offered a staff position.

She’s been dedicated to the work ever since. Besides counseling, Pin also conducts workshops for Asian women to help raise their awareness about sexual abuse. Most often, the workshops are conducted in South Philly at the request of nonprofit organizations and churches. In one year alone, Pin has given 30 workshops.

The women meet in small groups, usually of no more than 10. First, Pin shows them a video, which is available in three languages: Chinese, Vietnamese and Khmer. (For Chinese and Vietnamese groups, she brings an interpreter.) The videos deal with domestic and sexual violence.

"That’s our introduction. We want women to be aware of the signs and symptoms," Pin says. "Afterwards, we talk about the video."

Invariably, one topic of discussion is the concept of marital rape, which is presented in the film. "They are always surprised that a wife has the right to say no to sex," says Pin.

The workshop is a good opportunity for women who have never discussed these issues. "Sometimes they’re quiet at first, but then they open up and are very responsive," Pin says.

She makes sure to explain the services she can provide, and encourages the attendees to tell other women. And they do. Often after a workshop, Pin will get a call from a victim who was referred to her.

And she is grateful for every chance to help a victim, even though it means hearing about painful experiences.

"I’m still shocked by the stories I hear," Pin says. "I never take it for granted. But for me, it’s always a privilege when someone tells me her story."

And, she adds, it’s a privilege to work with traumatized women and help them heal.

"They come in feeling very timid and afraid, as if they’re walking on eggshells," she says. "But then they start talking and gain understanding of their situation. I see them change as they gain self-esteem."

That’s why the rewards of her work far outweigh the stresses.

"This is my passion – to help Asian women and girls realize that they do have a voice and there is help for them."

For information about services available to female victims of sexual abuse, call the Women Organized Against Rape hotline at 215-985-3333. For information about help for Asian victims, call Sopheap Pin at 215-985-3315 ext. 185.