Son: Hey Dad, what were you thinking when we lost $100 million in reconstruction money for Iraq? I mean, what do you figure happened? How could we not be able to account for $100 million? Wasn’t Iraq supposed to be real important to us back then? The money was supposed to go toward fixing schools and roads and things like that, right? You must’ve been really ticked off, huh?
Father: I kind of remember that, son. My memory’s not what it used to be. That was around when the Phillies went in the tank and T.O. held out for more money. I don’t think all-sports radio was really talking about Iraq back then. I’ll tell you, though, I was sure ticked off at Ed Wade, I remember that. And I remember I was paying almost as much per gallon of gas for my SUV as I paid for a bottle of Snapple. That got me steamed, yes sir.
Daughter: Hey Mom, you always told me we were against torturing people in America. But how come back then, it was OK to send prisoners to other countries for them to be tortured? And what was that prison scandal they told us about in school – Abu something or other – did heads roll when that hit the fan?
Mother: Sweetheart, I’m not sure about us shipping people out of the country to be tortured. Dr. Phil never mentioned it on his show or I’d remember it. But I do remember that they investigated that Abu something or other and, wouldn’t you know it, two women took the fall for it. You know what else I remember happened around that time? That was when Laura Bush cracked a few risqué jokes. At first I couldn’t believe it. Your father had to explain the one about the president milking the horse – never you mind the details of that one. Boy, that created quite a stir.
Son: I still don’t understand how we let that crackpot in North Korea get away with going nuclear. How did they keep it a secret from us?
Father: Well, actually, it wasn’t much of a secret, son. In fact, they kind of bragged about what they were doing every step of the way.
Son: Why didn’t we stop them?
Father: You gotta understand, son, the president wanted to stop them. He even called that little tinhorn dictator over there "a little tinhorn dictator." The problem was, Bush was distracted by Iraq.
Son: Where they didn’t have nuclear weapons?
Father: Well, yeah, but that’s a long story.
Daughter: What did you two do about it? Did you write letters or call your congressmen?
Mother: I don’t think we knew the names of our congressmen. You know, there was a lot going on in our lives.
Father: Yeah, we had Michael Jackson’s trial taking up a lot of time. Did he do it, didn’t he do it? That kind of stuff. Kept guessing right along with Nancy Grace and Larry King.
Mother: Yes, and don’t forget that runaway bride who claimed she was kidnapped. I even called and voted in the Daily News poll that asked whether the groom ought to take her back. Whatever did happen to that couple?
Father: I think they both wrote books.
Mother: That’s right, and right after that, they went on Dr. Phil.
Daughter: Was that when all that shooting was going on in the city? You know, little kids getting shot. Stuff like that?
Father: I think so because that’s when some hotshot writer called our mayor one of the worst in the country.
Son: Did you try to recall him?
Father: No, but lucky for us, his two terms ran out before he did any more damage.
Mother: They were sure interesting times.
