How bad is Martin Lawrence’s new movie Rebound? It’s so bad people ran from the theater screaming and it’s not a horror movie. It is so bad Kelly and Justin asked to be in the sequel. Rebound, I promise this is the last one folks, is so bad that, to call it a turkey, is an insult to turkeys.
Lawrence plays Roy McCormick, or Coach Roy as he is known to sports fans, a once-successful college hoops coach who is more interested in lucrative endorsements and dating supermodels than his team. After an all-too-common on-court tirade results in the death of the other team’s mascot (trust me, you don’t wanna know) he is called in front of the NCAA-like association that runs college basketball.
Coach Roy is this close to being banned for life when his agent (Breckin Meyer) finds a loophole. If he can coach another team without getting into trouble, the association will give him another chance. He gets the opportunity in the form of a badly written fax from the Mount Vernon Jr. High School Smelters, a team so bad nobody remembers or even cares when it won its last game. At first just going through the motions, Coach Roy finally decides to teach this motley crew the fundamentals of the game.
Eventually they catch on and go all the way to the state championship. But, perhaps more importantly, Roy recovers his respect for the game and himself.
To be honest, there are a few bright spots.
The kids seem like real losers, not Hollywood losers, and Lawrence has a nice way them. There are some real laughs along the way, too.
However, the few bright spots are trumped by the fact this is probably one of most ineptly made films I’ve ever seen released by a major studio. For one, there are major holes in the script and I’m one that believes any sin in a movie can be forgiven if the film works. This doesn’t. For instance, when Coach Roy goes back to his old high school he never mentions this "minor" plot point. Maybe I missed it, but I could swear Lawrence never once says, "Hey, it’s good to be back." You’d think someone would have thought of that. The editing is sloppy with one scene after another seemingly put together with Elmer’s glue and Scotch tape.
In case you think this is about skill, it’s not. Lawrence is capable of doing good work as even his worst films have a minimal level of competence. Director Steve Carr showed some understanding of the family film genre in Daddy Day Care. It was no classic, but it was no Rebound either.
The bottom line is nobody really cared how this turned out. It shows. Let me tell you. It shows.
Rebound
In area theatres Friday
One out of four
Recommended Rental
Bride and Prejudice
PG-13
Available Tuesday
Director Gurinder Chadha follows up her snappy surprise art-house hit Bend it Like Beckham with this Bollywood-esque musical adaptation of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. Indian film star Aishwarya Rai, who Madonna has called the most beautiful woman in the world, makes her first all-English language film debut playing Lalita Bakshi. Bakshi is an Indian beauty that is being courted by American hotelier Will Darcy (Martin Henderson), who she finds arrogant and conceited. Only because his best friend is falling in love with her sister, does Bakshi agree to show Darcy around India. Soon, she realizes she may have misjudged him.
