My favorite columnist, Maureen Dowd of the New York Times, has written a book called "Are Men Necessary?" I haven’t read the book, but after reading an excerpt it appears as if her answer will not be the resounding response I was hoping for, i.e., "Yes and, by the way, what is the name of that brilliant fellow writing for the Review?"
The sexist cartoons I see passed through e-mails today are not at the expense of blondes, but of men. Example: A man is bent over an examining table with his buttocks exposed while the doctor behind him declares, "Relax, you’re not the first man whose wife shoved a remote up his ***." Numerous e-mails pay tribute to the alleged uniqueness of female friendships, but do so while poking fun at the stereotypical failings of men. What makes all of this unusual is the backlash is not coming from feminists. Thirty-five years ago, when Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, Germaine Greer and other feminists fueled the women’s rights movement, many middle-class housewives refused to jump on board. But most of the stuff I’m seeing today attacking men and praising women comes from those same alienated women my age and their soccer-mom daughters.
To understand the phenomenon, let’s examine a representative e-mail being sent around in honor of something called National Girlfriends Day. The message begins ostensibly with a tribute to "our sisters, confidants and shopping, lunching, and traveling girls," but turns out to really be a self-congratulatory pat on the back for being born into the right sex – quoting – "It is good to be a woman."
If you need to reassure yourself it is good to be a woman, then you probably are insecure about being one.
The message goes on to make 15 points:
1. We got off the Titanic first. Not a great point because the reason women got off first was the courtesy of the times extended by men.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder. Yes, but the unfortunate by-product is it also has scared male voters every time someone mentions a woman for president.
3. Taxis stop for us. Try it if you’re black and in a poor area.
4. We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing. Hint: In case you haven’t noticed, men don’t really care about dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo. Have you ever seen a fat woman in a bikini?
6. We don’t have to pass gas to amuse ourselves. You really don’t know what you’re missing.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. Try telling that to your lover.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end. Have you ever seen women’s basketball?
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. Have you ever seen a Madonna concert?
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves. Yes, but we pride ourselves on our ability to undress you.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. Even Brad Pitt?
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot. I have two words for you: Demi Moore.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears. Neither will we.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all our problems. Once in awhile you really ought to try sex instead.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren’t listening anyway. If your man isn’t listening to you, it could be you have nothing worthwhile to say.
The funny thing is I really do think, on the average, the women I know really are more interesting than men, with the possible exception of those who pass around e-mails congratulating themselves for such high achievements as being female and having friends. You really ought to be shooting higher than being brighter than your average male WIP caller.
The really bright women I know wouldn’t waste their time passing around some of these inane e-mails. They’re too busy fighting the good fight in an unfair, male-dominated world. They’re too busy questioning religions that institutionalize females as second-class citizens. They’re too busy either getting an education or making damn sure their daughters get one so they won’t have to live in a world where men make all the laws and dole out favors to females like feudal war lords.
When statistics show men marry their secretaries and shun intelligent, witty women, maybe it’s time to kiss off men and their institutions and put on the boxing gloves instead of thinking it’s just great you use hairspray and like to shop.
Are you listening, Maureen? I’m on your side!
