It was with profound horror I discovered my ranking next to SUV owners and oil-spilling tankers as one of the great destroyers of the world’s environment. My crime: I drink bottled water.
The complaints about bottled water stem from its plastic container and, as we know, plastic is considered one of the great eco-disasters of our time. The hue and cry is running at fever pitch and that often leads to one thing in today’s political environment — a total ban. It won’t be long before we drinkers of bottled water will be lumped with the pariahs of the American landscape — the poor forlorn smoker. But at least smokers can huddle together outside office buildings, a band of brothers (and sisters) rebelling against the tyranny of society. They can still get their nicotine fix, but I fear those of us who love bottled water will be doomed to the scrap heap of history, stuck drinking tap water for the rest of our lives.
The attack on bottled water is extremely judgmental. No one is suggesting Pepsi or Coke forsake bottling soda in plastic, only their other products, Dasani and Aquafina (which are tap water and should be banned anyway). Bottled water rankles a very large segment of our population and it has nothing to do with the ecosystem. The articles condemning the drink rant about paying high prices and the transportation costs to bring it from Fiji or wherever. Why can’t we just drink tap water?
At one time, bottled water lovers could have told the rest of you to mind your own business. But in 21st-century America, nobody minds their own business. The environmental issue becomes a very convenient tool to mind other people’s business. Why can’t we just drink tap water and shut up? Well, why can’t soda lovers give up drinking their beverages in plastic? Soda does as much damage as water in plastic bottles and it’s not as healthy. Give up soda and switch to tap water and you will not only be doing your bit for the ecosystem, you’ll live a healthier lifestyle (and lower healthcare premiums for all of us).
Avoiding tap water has been a time-honored tradition in my family stretching back to my grandfather. As a little boy, I sometimes accompanied him to Fairmount Park where we would fill up bottles of spring water for our table. When that was no longer possible, my grandfather would have big glass jugs of spring water delivered to his home. I continue this practice today.
I know about all the taste tests that supposedly show tap is indistinguishable from bottled. If you can’t tell the difference, more power to you. Save your money and open the faucets. You also probably think wine with a screw-cap is as good as the corked stuff. But there’s a reason people put a slice of lemon in their tap water; it’s because the stuff needs something to offset the chemical taste. Most of us drink bottled water at work because the stuff coming out of the fountain is putrid.
There also is a convenience factor. Whether you’re at the zoo or a Sixers game, most of us depend on bottles because the water fountains are scarce and unsanitary. This is not going to change if bottled water goes away. I can sniff a move to place a deposit or tax on the beverage.
The bottled-water industry is already responding by switching to a more eco-friendly container. I’m betting this won’t satisfy the anti-bottled-water crowd. They will stop at nothing until we are all drinking from the tap. That’s when I’ll switch to wine.
