The buzz around the office water cooler these days is all about a young couple guilty of identity theft. The police, unable to make a dent in the violent crime wave sweeping the city, hyped their arrest of the couple by dubbing them "Bonnie and Clyde." Just to set the record straight, folks, Bonnie and Clyde would have laughed at being linked to the crime of identity theft. They robbed gas stations, stores and banks. Clyde was implicated in about 10 murders. It appears Bonnie never fired a shot, but didn’t flinch from the violence. Neither resembled Warren Beatty or Faye Dunaway. The lawmen that ambushed and riddled their car with 50 bullets were as despicable as Bonnie and Clyde. It appears Jocelyn Kirsch and Edward Anderton are greedy and amoral, but they are not Bonnie and Clyde.
The Daily News, ever in search of ways to increase circulation, splashed photos of the young couple across its front page for three consecutive days. The local television media did the same. While piously decrying the larcenous couple, the media coverage was every bit as exploitive as a supermarket tabloid. How many times did we see Kirsch in her red bikini; Kirsch and Anderton swapping a tongue kiss; Kirsch with her skirt hiked up hugging a friend? The adventures of this modern-day "Bonnie and Clyde" tell us as much about our need to be distracted from the real news as anything else and the media is too willing to accommodate.
While Kirsch and Anderton were the big story on ABC’s "Action News," I thought you might be interested in the headlines that only got a brief mention on local telecasts, if at all. I realize the following lacks the sex appeal of a nice bustline and pretty legs, but bear with me:
1) A National Intelligence Estimate Report indicated Iran stopped its nuclear weapons program four years ago. Our president insists he didn’t know about the report while he was hyping the threat of Iran going nuclear. His own national security adviser disputes him. Caught in his own monstrous lie, Bush is now telling us the report "confirms" what he has been telling us all along.
2) The CIA destroyed videotapes of the interrogation of two terrorism suspects and withheld information from Congress. According to his spokesperson, President Bush "did not recall being told about the tapes or their destruction." However, the spokesperson was careful to add she could not rule out White House involvement in the decision to destroy the tapes.
3) Mayor John Street says Philadelphia does not need more cops. What it needs is more spending on mental health, education, housing and nutrition. Street admits the number of homicides has gone up in the city in the last few years, but the overall trend has been a "decline" in major crimes during his years in office.
4) The Urban League’s 2007 "State of Black Philadelphia" report indicates the quality of life for black Philadelphians is only 72 percent of that of whites.
5) Two suicide bombers killed at least 24 people in Diyala province last Friday. It was yet another in a series of bombings targeting groups aiding American efforts. It was on page 9 of Saturday’s Inquirer, and not reported at all on an hour-and-a-half of local news, which featured the exploits of the new "Bonnie and Clyde" and about five minutes devoted to the weather (we got less than an inch of the white stuff).
6) In Iowa, Republican candidate Mitt Romney gave a stirring speech defending his Mormon beliefs and his fitness to become president. Romney believes he is the best-equipped person to lead the believers against the unbelievers. Meanwhile Mike Huckabee has vaulted to a huge lead in Iowa, largely based on the superiority of his evangelical Christianity. Huckabee has said he does not believe in evolution. Columnist’s note: If I have to choose between a guy who believes Jesus Christ appeared to Joseph Smith or one who is still Fredric March in "Inherit the Wind," I’m voting for none of the above.
7) If you are hoping you can take advantage of the president’s five-year freeze on mortgage interest rates, you will probably be disappointed. First off, it’s voluntary. Secondly, it’s a bureaucratic nightmare for the applicant. Finally, out of 1.2 million eligible, it is estimated that just 145,000 may qualify. Love that compassionate conservatism.
8) The government’s November labor report indicated "tepid job growth." The report stopped a rally on Wall Street dead in its tracks.
Now back to the really big story. It seems the feds are interested in getting involved in the "Bonnie and Clyde" case. Let’s hope the feds involvement ends better than it did in the original Bonnie and Clyde massacre.
