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There’s something happening here.
What it is ain’t exactly clear.
There’s a man with a gun over there
Telling me I’ve got to beware.
— Buffalo Springfield, "For What It’s Worth"
Maybe it’s because we’re not protected from outsiders like those wealthy, gated communities. Maybe it’s the pollutants from the oil refineries or too much lead in our water supply. Whatever it is, we’re growing seriously paranoid around these parts.
Hardly a week goes by without someone asking you to sign a petition against something. If there’s one enduring feeling down here, it’s how we’re always the victim. There’s always something to be ticked off about. The better off you are, the more scared you become of losing whatever it is you have. Not In My Backyard is our one, passionate cause.
This is not a new phenomenon. We were against building the sports complex. Didn’t want an off-track betting parlor around here. Thought a new Chickie’s & Pete’s would destroy the neighborhood. Panicked when non-neighborhood kids started tricking or treating on Halloween night, so we changed the date of Halloween. (That reminds me of the joke: We bought a pumpkin farm, and they called off Halloween.)
Our area symbol is Henny Penny, who keeps hollering the sky is falling. An area restaurant tries to expand its seating capacity and has to give up because the neighbors are certain a four-star establishment will mean the end of civilization as they know it.
I went to buy a hoagie recently and was asked to sign a petition to bring back the basketball court the City tore up at Marconi Plaza to make room for a doggie park. This left me in a bit of a quandary. I love dogs, but I also love basketball, even if my playing days ended when the dunk was legalized. A lady in the store, noticing my indecision, told me the neighborhood was upset because too many black kids were playing basketball on the court while waiting for the bus. They didn’t stay long, she reassured, because when their bus came along, they went home.
A man came to my door recently, armed with yet another petition. He was angry they turned the old Quartermaster into a job-training center. Boy, did he grow annoyed when I didn’t sign the petition. I usually like to know more about a subject before I go on record as being opposed to it, I told him. He grew frustrated and explained by training these people, it would take jobs away from residents. I didn’t think too much job training would be such a bad thing. Besides, I reminded him, isn’t it better to have a center at 20th and Oregon than one huge haunted house with overgrown weeds?
Recently, that same area became a cause for controversy. There are posters all over the center questioning a new beer distributor planning to replace George Young Rigging. I have lived near a beer distributor for a good number of years. I don’t notice any undesirables passing through, only neighbors running across to grab a case of beer to help them enjoy a Phillies game on TV. Somehow I don’t equate it with a crack house. My paranoia meter must be permanently fixed on low.
In the past 10 years, we have had numerous problems with basements flooding when it rains. All of us in the area suffered mightily, because, if there’s anything we know how to do, it’s how to keep nice basements. My letters and phone calls to the Water Department were met with official studies showing it rains heavier than it used to over shorter periods of time. Could be global warming. Could be the Maker’s revenge on the area for being upset over the other small stuff. Who knows? I had two different plumbers tell me they heard it was the construction of the new Phillies and Eagles stadiums. The new sports complex may be overloading the sewer system.
After many complaints, we finally convinced the City to start cleaning our sewers on a semi-regular basis. This newspaper also reported other ongoing improvements that are supposed to alleviate the situation. (Touch wood.) The last couple of rainy seasons we have had no water in our basements in my immediate area, though some neighborhoods are still suffering from the problem. So does that mean the new sports complex was a convenient scapegoat for our problems? You be the judge.
In the meantime, does anyone know when we’re celebrating Halloween this year?
