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Your intrepid columnist is ready to dive into last week’s key election results to get to the true meaning of the mind of voters.
We will be commenting on are the re-election of New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, Terry McAuliffe’s win in Virginia and Bill de Blasio’s election as the next Mayor of New York, and we will address the rumors there was an election in our own city.
I will refrain from the obvious bad joke that Christie’s margin of victory was larger than his waistline (oops, sorry for the slip). He has pulled off the amazing feat of convincing voters he gets things done. Whether one likes what he’s done really doesn’t matter that much. Voters have decided anyone who can prove that government works, whether to one’s benefit or not, deserves another term. In this age of political dysfunction, Christie can make more money by not running for president in 2016 and opening up an office as a political consultant.
Although we don’t live in New Jersey, we have relatives in South Jersey so we do have a vested interest. Note: Nearly all native South Philadelphians either have relatives in South Jersey or have already moved there. The re-election of Christie gives me four more years of fat jokes (unless that surgery really is working) and more good moments on YouTube. I especially enjoy his confrontations at diners.
New Jersey teachers might want to consider moving to another state just to see who the governor would use for his new whipping boy/girl/person. But it seems as if Tea Party Republicans dislike him even more. One can do anything to the Tea Party (even step on their blue suede shoes), but one can’t be seen hanging with Obama — hurricane damage or no hurricane damage.
One can’t even get away with playing golf with the president; just ask John Boehner, who is now being challenged for the speakership by a Tea Party member, let alone be seen walking the sandy dunes of the seashore with him in almost matching windbreakers. The question becomes whether the governor can survive ’16’s Republican presidential primaries. I think he can by emulating Mitt Romney, who was able to get the nomination by renouncing everything he always believed in.
Such a strategy won’t be easy for Christie, who has gained the reputation of someone who means what he says (except when it came to challenging gay marriage in his state). How could he explain cozying up to the president when there is ample video evidence to the contrary? I suggest he claim he was under the influence of hypnosis, sort of a Jersey version of “The Manchurian Candidate” (perhaps Bruce Springsteen’s next hit song?).
That brings us to McAuliffe’s narrow victory over Ken Cuccinelli to become Virginia’s next governor. Practically no one is impressed with McAuliffe’s win other than McAuliffe. He was expected to win handily against an opponent so far to the right he made Rick Santorum look like a soft-headed lefty. Cuccinelli even beat McAuliffe 51 to 42 percent among married women voters. Hint: this may have been because, as reported by New York Times columnist Gail Collins, McAuliffe admitted stopping for 15 minutes to address a political campaign rally on the way home from the hospital while his wife and newborn son sat in the car. He joked he garnered a lot of campaign cash and votes during that stop, but married women failed to see the “humor” in it. McAuliffe is kind of the anti-Christie, a career politician, who believes there is no higher calling than raising campaign money. He also is much thinner than Christie, exploding any myth that America is looking toward fatter candidates.
De Blasio actually won the New York mayoralty campaign when he won the spring Democratic Primary. His Republican opponent would have gotten the same number of votes if his name had been omitted from the ballot and the lever was next to a blank space. What stunned political experts was that de Blasio even won the primary. He came from nowhere, local newspapers screamed. How did the political wunderkind with a mixed race family pull it off? Anthony Weiner. De Blasio will replace incumbent Michael Bloomberg, well known for anti-obesity campaign.
When the primary campaign began in New York, folks who love tall sodas were just happy that Bloomberg wasn’t running for a fourth term. Weiner had the name recognition because he had been a high profile congressman and had flashed some women on social networks. All Weiner had to do to become mayor was to stop leering after repeating his name to women voters and literally keep it in his pants. This became too difficult a challenge for Weiner and his own weiner to overcome. The very liberal de Blasio became the big beneficiary.
Regarding Philadelphia, we were unable to confirm there was an election held last Tuesday.
Contact the South Philly Review at editor@southphillyreview.com.
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