Bethesda Bainbridge’s program coordinator, Michel’le J. Bryant, distributed donor-driven Valentines last week at the South of South permanent housing site.
Whether you consider Valentine’s Day a so-called Hallmark holiday, a holiday created by capitalism to spur the economy in the doldrums of winter, or a cherished day to remind loved ones of your affections – it’s a very popular phenomenon.
In the United States alone, there are nearly 190 million cards purchased and exchanged in addition to the loads of valentine-exchanges that happen in grade schools. According to the National Retail Federation, average Valentine’s Day spending went from $101 in 2010 to $131 in 2013.
Romantically-devoted couples often double down on their affections for each other while single folks lament the trials and tribulations of dating. But what if you had no one at all? What if you were homeless and the years of benign, sweet-spirited love-spreading on Feb. 14, something engrained in us as early as pre-school, came crashing back on your conscience?
Being alone on whatever February night Valentine’s falls on is bad enough, but imagine if you were sleeping with all of your belongings and on the street.
Bethesda Project decided to do something about it this year with a combined fund-raising effort and spirit-lifting gesture – $10 and you could make one of the 400 individuals currently in its care a little less gloomy.
At 13 sites, Bethesda provides homeless relief and support services to nearly 2,500 Philadelphians annually. And with just a month’s duration, Bethesda received more than $1,500 in donations that materialized into 600 valentines, enough for more than one valentine per resident or shelter-seeker.
“Hope your day is filled with” was the prompt for one of three staff-designed valentines and donors wrote “hope and positivity!; joy and wonder; beauty and happiness; blessings; and optimism.” “Sending you a bear hug to make you feel,” held by a smiling teddy bear, was completed with “warm and cozy inside; cared for and loved; alive and happy; hopeful and blessed.” With a floral theme, another read “Like a flower you are”: “charming; to be cherished; beautiful; full of life; and a gift of nature and beauty.”
“Some [recipients] communicated reactions with chuckles, but I’ll take them as smiles,” Kathy Meck, Bethesda’s chief development officer, said.
She works out of the nonprofit’s headquarters at 1630 South St., but her program coordinator at the Bainbridge location that houses 30 men, Michel’le J. Bryant, says many exclaimed “these are for us?! Slowly their smirks turned into big smiles.”
Meck, of the 400 block of South Street, is committed to a philosophy that connects all 13 sites, which range from immediate and emergency housing (as in the two shelters they open at church locations during the brutal winter weather months) to sustained, long-term housing that has no expiration date (such as at the Bainbridge location, 700 S. 15th St., where Bryant says “they can choose to stay here, there’s no time limit for them”) – it’s that staff and cared-for individuals are a family.
One resident chose to receive hospice care in his last days on Earth at the housing facility – Meck said “this is the only home he’s ever known.”
Homelessness is not always a result of what most unfairly assume is addiction, alcoholism, or laziness. Bryant has a phrase she uses to describe what can render Philadelphians homeless: “Some have just had a health condition that took them out of the race,” she said. “I have a gentleman here who, when you hear his story, it breaks your heart. He was dealing with cancer, and it caused him to be homeless.”
Without health care or insurance, a life-threatening illness could threaten one in ways that he or she didn’t imagine – stripping that person of any shelter or financial resources.
“Addiction can often happen after something else, like untreated mental health,” Meck said. Plus, “if they’re living on the streets for decades, they don’t trust the system.”
The Queen Village resident explained they use a multi-pronged effort to improving the lives of individuals fighting homelessness, the first of which is getting them housed and keeping them so. But then there’s “case management and a care plan for each individual, including getting proper identification and access to benefits or rekindling a relationship with a family member.”
Bryant reported that she recently rounded up her residents to see “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” (“They pay for their own ticket,” she says), they have a volunteer-driven potluck dinner on Mondays and Thursdays, and once a week there’s a popcorn and movie night in the TV room.
Another factor that can “take you out of the race” is simply age, and living on the streets tends to tack on extra years. Meck says a 40-year-old can have the body of a 70-year-old and that sometimes “it takes three years to convince John Smith to get off the streets but then he’s housed for three years and has the opportunity to build community.”
“If you’re 60 and up, working may not be an option anymore,” Bryant said.
She stays on her residents to keep appointments for care and rewards them if they stick to them. One resident’s reward will be a trip to Center City’s Liberty Place for a panoramic view of Philadelphia – “that’s his goal. He asks me ‘Can you Google Liberty Place?’”
“That’s what any family does for each other – keep them motivated and going forward,” Meck chimed in.
As for the Valentine’s Day fundraiser, she said small projects like those are crucial.
“Unrestricted dollars allow us to carry out our mission to the best of our ability,” Meck said.
Bethesda residents get placed through the Philadelphia Housing Authority or Shelter Care Plus. Meck noted that they’re looking for leaders to join their Young Professionals Advisory Board.
The men who shuffle through the space aren’t scary or threatening – they use Bethesda as a home where they can escape the winter cold, receive mail, get a cup of coffee, listen to some music from a boombox and maybe make some connections that will keep them off the streets in the future. And for some, the fact that they’re there at all is a gift not unlike their Valentines.
Above Meck’s South Street offices are more Bethesda-provided permanent housing options and one of them is the famous Mel, the self-proclaimed “Mayor of South Street.” Even after they’ve seemingly overcome homelessness, she said, they’re still family.
“They’re still part of the Bethesda family, but they don’t need as much of that case management support,” she noted. “But they talk to us, and we’re going to continue to be there for them.”
Contact Staff Writer Bill Chenevert at bchenevert@southphillyreview.com or ext. 117. Comment at southphillyreview.com/news/features.
