Critics of Barack Obama believe he threw his white grandmother under the bus by pointing out her racial insensitivity. Obama tried to explain that most complex of relationships, where you fiercely love someone of another generation despite their belief in racial and ethnic stereotypes. Later, in a radio interview, he used an unfortunate phrase "typical white person" to describe her racial fears. I won’t defend the phrase, although in context it is less offensive than some talk show hosts would have you believe, but I recognized his grandmother. She sounded much like my own beloved grandfather.
My mother’s father was the most revered figure in our family. I could not love a person more. His story is familiar. He came to this country as a young man, worked hard, married and raised a family. His wife died when my mother was only 7 and things got tougher. He was born on the Fourth of July. The backyard parties on Wolf Street we held to honor him each year have left me with magnificent memories.
Grandpop became a baseball fan late in life. I loved to watch games with him on the old 12-inch Admiral television in the living room. Hell, it was an honor just to get him his slippers. There was one blindspot Grandpop could never shake. He couldn’t stand the sight of black people.
Grandpop never used profanity and none of us ever used profanity around him. His adult daughters never smoked in his presence as long as he lived (and he lived into his 80s). But Grandpop used the "N" word to describe all blacks, no matter who they were or what they accomplished. He would either leave the room when we turned on the "Nat ‘King’ Cole Show" or sometimes turn his back on the television set.
I was a Brooklyn Dodgers fan growing up. At the time, the Dodgers were known for introducing Jackie Robinson — the first black player — to the big leagues. Because of Robinson’s success, the Dodgers soon brought up a number of talented African-American players from the minors, including Philadelphia’s own Roy Campanella. Campanella was the product of racially mixed parents. I think Grandpop was particularly annoyed, and maybe a little puzzled, that here was a man with an Italian name who turned out to be black. Needless to say, this did not endear the Dodgers to him.
When I was 17, my parents bought me a tape recorder for Christmas. Dad and Mom taped holiday greetings to me. Dad sang his, which is a column for another day. After I listened to them, Grandpop’s voice came on. In his heavily accented English, Grandpop shouted "Brooklyn’s no good. Campanella’s no good. The n—– is no good." I could hear the family laughing and chattering in the background.
I never ran for president so I didn’t have to disown Grandpop. I reject his notion of race, but I could never reject him. I love him no less dearly. He was one of the best things to ever be a part of my life, but he was flawed just like all of us, much like Obama’s grandmother. By writing honestly about his racial blindspot, I don’t think I am dishonoring Grandpop or "throwing him under the bus."
I hear the whines and the cries of the Sean Hannitys of the world. They nitpick through Obama’s magnificent speech for racial slights. They endlessly play Rev. Wright’s angry, over-the-top attack on America and its institutions and can’t understand Obama’s comparison of him to his beloved white grandmother. But like Obama’s grandmother and my grandfather and maybe some relatives you know and love, they are products of another time. I could no more disown my grandfather than I could disown my childhood. That’s what Obama is saying, that somehow we have got to get beyond all this, but at the same time that does not mean we have to toss away those we love in order to qualify for high office.
In honoring those we love, we also recognize the complexity of human beings and their relationships. Maybe that’s too heavy a subject for some of the American public to handle during a presidential campaign. Maybe the one person running for the White House dealing with the subject of race in America in an honest way does himself no favor at the polls. Maybe we just can’t handle the truth. If so, we must ask ourselves: If not now, when? If not Obama, who?
